I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
