My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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