By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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