what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
