How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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