rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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