Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she peed on how many people?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
