Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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