Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
