I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
