other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we're so committed to being not committed
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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