I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
