we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
