Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
