i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you will always have a special place in my vag
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
