i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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