All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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