we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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