you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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