i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
