i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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