She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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