We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
my liver is dry heaving
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
