halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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