there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
