What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
