I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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