I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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