I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
