Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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