it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
