yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
