You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The Olympian is in my bed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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