we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
