let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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