yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
