I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The struggles of a small town man whore
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
wow bdsm is so cute
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