I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
