Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
