so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't trust your balls anymore.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
