While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Boobs speak an international language.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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