ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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