oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
