tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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