a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
