Me too!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
