Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
