We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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