My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
