WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
