i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
