um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
