i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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